In "hype", Kalle lasn shows us that advertisements are filling our lives. They are everywhere and they are polluting American minds. We listen to or watch about three thousand marketing messages a day. Advertisements appear in place we would except like buses, billboards and stadiums, but they also appear almost everywhere else we look. We can see many advertisements everywhere everyday whether we like. There is no way to escape from ads. In my eyes, many advertisement did not tell customer truth about products which companies want to sell.
The article says advertisements are everywhere and they are polluting American minds. I totally agree with the idea. Advertisements are one way that companies sell their new products or food. They always give the advantage of these products, so people will trust them. However, many products are not good for consumer. In fact, too many advertisements hide the disadvantage of products and food. As a result, we often buy some products or food that are bad for us.
I was a fat kid because of eating too much fast food. I still remember an advertisement of a fast food company I watched on TV. That advertisement said “Enjoy the best food at McDonald’s.” I was just a kid, I really believed what this advertisement said. I did not know fast food is unhealthy. I even asked my mother to take me to McDonald’s. I was interested in fast food and I believed that is the best food as the advertisement said. The advertisement was appeared many times on TV while I became fatter. Finally, I became a very fat kid. My classmates ridiculed me; My mother worried about my health. She took me to see doctor, and then doctor advised me stop eating fast food. He told me that food is unhealthy. At that time, I realized that I was totally wrong before. That food is not the best food. However, these advertisements did not mention. When I grew up, I knew the purpose of these fast food advertisements are let more people to buy new products, not tell people that it is harmful. It has bad influence on people’s lives, especially, for kid. They push people to buy unhealthy goods. Many advertisements t portray companies as trusted friends. They are polluting our minds.
Too many advertisements can be dangerous. We don’t need so many advertisements around our lives because it is harmful.
3 comments:
In general, what author say pretty well, In her introdution is very strong and her body paragrahp.and she give good opinion about hype and fact.The author give the causes of hype and the effect.
she did well in the essay,it has a summary in the essay and she mention the auther of the article.I think this essay has almost 400 words but she can add more in it. she has a clear claim which is "many advertisement did not tell customer truth about products which companies want to sell."she has a clear introduction, I think she can add quote in the introduction.and she has a clear summary, she mention all the important point in her summary.she has her own experience in her essay and that experience supports her claim.this essay is clear and easy to read.I think she just need to focuse on her gramma and reread her essay again after she finished.
1. Overall, what is the author doing well? (It is always good to start off with a strong point).
In the beginning of this essay, the author gave us a clear and short summerize of the main idea of "hype" and she also added a strong claim that in her views:she thinks that advitising does not tell the truth when they sell their products.
2. Is the essay around 400 words?
yes.
3.Does the author (your team mate) have a clear claim? What is it?
It is unclear because there is something problem in the tense that she used. It is easy to make others confused what she wanted to say.
The claim is
In my eyes, many advertisement did not tell customer truth about products which companies want to sell.
I think that in the claim we otfen use the present tense.
4.Does the author have a clear introduction? How could it be improved?
yes, her introduction is clear, but there is a problem that i mentioned above need to be carefull.
5.Does the author summarize the reading completely and clearly? Why or why not?
yes, because she mentioned the title and the author of the article which we need to respond to, and she found out the keyword in the main idea. She uses other words instead of the keyword to explain the reading.
6.Does the author respond to the reading with specific examples from real life?
yes. She uses her experience that when she was a kid, she believed what the advertising said in the ads of McDonald's; she often asked her mon to bring her to eat. In the end, she became a fat girl.
7.Is the writing clear and easy to read? What patterns of errors do you see that need to be addressed in the future?
Yes, it is clear and easy to read, but something need to be careful is tense and there is no connection between two paragraphs, and some fluency in some senternces. In the end, the conclusion is not stronger and do not connect with the article "hype"
Post a Comment